As some of you know, I'm a bit impervious to pain these days. I am working on that though...anywho, it takes a lot to make me say Ouch. But it always has. I surf over reefs, have walked off a cracked kneecap, busted ribs, nose, etc. Yes it hurts but the animal inside can deal with pain. Then I discovered centipede venom...
3 am. Wake up. Heh? Wha-?!
Suddenly I am hopping around in the dark. I turn on the light. It feels like I stepped in glass. Soon, the glass seemed to be on fire...I look at my foot and see tiny fang marks with blood dotting out. Centipede.
The wife is up because I tend to shout when I'm being consumed by chemical fire. We tear apart the bed. Nothing. Nothing underneath. I can no longer stand so I take the bedding and throw it in the dryer and lay on the couch while the wife looks.
I read this while writhing around in agony with a bag of ice on my foot:
Centipedes have modified legs called forcipules. So it has fangs as long as it's fucking legs. But the best part is: "Twenty-six neurotoxin-like peptides belonging to ten groups were identified from the centipede venoms..."
So as I get used to one chemical cocktail of pain another takes it's place. The pain is severe but everything I read is broken down to, Yeah it fuckin'A hurts but it won't kill ya.
My poor body. Surgery, pills and now fangs. Oh and after 2 episodes of Arrested Development (There is ALWAYS money in the banana stand Michael!) I went back to bed. Wife never found the centipede. Then I saw my sweats hanging on the door and shook them. A blue centipede came out which I crushed with great violence and prejudice.
Laying there awkwardly I felt good. This could have been testicle crazy bad if I put on those sweats...