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Saturday, July 25, 2015

M2K Dope Opera: This is Kym

Vince is next level amazing with the math.  His face is still swollen behind his glasses where he got kicked in the face last night at the NOFX show.  It was his first time at the Gilman and I think he had a pretty good time.

Vince explains to me how we use the parallax technique to gauge the distance to Mars.  Without his tutoring I would be lost and I am writing down everything that comes out of his mouth.

And then the sonic canon fires a round of Kym into our space time continuum.

"I HAVE RETURNED!" she yells triumphantly as the door bursts open.

The room floods with light and Vince's photochromatic lenses turn dark as he looks up startled.  Kym swaggers in swinging her bag around, kisses me and checks out Vince.

"Hi there!" she beams.

"Oh!  Uh hello..." says Vince looking down at the table.

"Vince, this is Kym.  Kym, this is Vince."

"Oh the guy you and Jase took to the show that got into a fight with the security guys.  This is him?" asks Kym.

"Yeah look can you give us some peace Kym?  I need to know this by Thursday-"

Kym puts me in a headlock and yanks my face close to hers.  "You won't even know I'm here babe..." she whispers.

Then she winks at Vince and disappears down the hall.  Vince watches her walk away.  I don't blame him.  When he recovers his composure and we get back to the math.  Then we hear the opening bass lines of Queen's Under Pressure.  Vince looks around confused.

"Sorry but I hate rap music.  I was hoping never to hear it again in my life-wait.  It's different?  They made a singing one?"

I look at Vince.  Besides the bruises on a his face from the mosh pit he looks completely harmless.  An Asian guy, coke bottle glasses that turn dark in sunlight and he always wears dress shirts.  For some reason there is a ruler in his shirt pocket.

"You poor, ignorant foreign bastard" I sigh.

His eyes are behind me and I can hear Kym dancing around in the living room.  After work she often goes crazy for a while like a pent up animal and dances.  It is on of her peculiarities.

"Babe!  You be David Bowie and I'll be Freddie Mercury ok?" she yells from the living room.

I sigh.  Between Jason and Kym there is never peace in this valley.  My homework sessions commonly spiral off to loud music and or drugs.  Kym bursts in and throws her arm around me and whips my head around as she lip-syncs, "...give love, give love, give love give love..." then she shares her fake microphone with me to join in on the chorus, "...cause love's such an old fashioned word and love dares you..."

Vince stares in awe as Kym belts out her favorite Queen song.  Then she opens a drawer, yanks out a sheet of foil and struts off snapping her fingers with the song.  It grows quiet and I can smell the vinegary tang from down the hall.  Well that should slow her down a bit.

 "I apologize for that" I smile at Vince.  "She probably won't back.  Hopefully.  Anyways!  You were talking about the cosmic distance ladder..?"

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