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Friday, July 31, 2015

Poor Jason

Kym and I are on a taper.  She freaked out after missing her period.  After a visit to the doctor, Kym has come to the glum conclusion she parties too much.  So after Happy Hour cocktails at Vesuvio's, we solemnly swear to scale back. the best of our abilities.

Right away we bend the rules.  Like the sweaty, crushing pain of Tuesday is beyond awful.  So we create a holiday.  Try Again Tuesday.  So we each smoke a dot of tar.  Just a taste. But we pass these back and forth with deep kisses. After two days with no H it feels so gooooooood.  Probably too good.  We limp off into the week.

"You're dosing yeah?" says Kym nodding her head in slow motion and smearing her huge blue eyes across my field of vision.  Tropical blue eyes.  So deep.  So blue.  I am prisoner to their Light.

"Yes Kym.  Yes I am" I hear myself respond robotically.

"I can tell babe because you get a little crazy with those eyes.  Like a spider studying a moth" she says as she widens her blues.

I want to say something but Kym’s eyes are her own.  She does not understand the power they command over a soul like mine.  Then Kym gets up and disappears down the hall.  So I go back to Cheers.  This show soothes me.  I watched it growing up.  The TV sounds are a comforting presence, like a familiar relative.

Kym launches into the room, diving sideways through the air.  Her hands plant on the floor and she cartwheels past the TV and vanishes into the kitchen.

I look around wildly but all is quiet.  Did that just happen?  I refuse to get up and check.  Most likely, Kym will jump out, scream and tickle me.  So back to Cheers.  Heck, maybe it didn't happen...

And Kym appears.  She moves solemnly across the room.  Upside down.  On her hands.  Holy shit.

"Holy shit!" I utter in astonishment.

Kym does a forward roll from the hallway and pops up with straight legs crossed, chest puffed out and arms spread out dramatically.  I stare.  LSD stare.  Wow.

Her face is frozen in a performance mask.  Eyes wide open, lips slightly parted in a professional smile.  Her eyes stay focused on something 1000 yards away and her lips barely move as she speaks, "I was in gymnastics until I was fifteen.  Then I realized I was too tall and gangly.  Plus these threw me off balance" she says grabbing her breasts.

And I keep staring.  I have no idea what's going on.  Then Kym sits next to me and casually slings her arm around my neck.  She pulls my face close.  Touches my forehead to hers.

"Ok space-boy.  So acid is fine, weed is good.  What about ecstasy?"

I think about it.  Hmm.

"Ecstasy is OK.  But no cocaine" I decree.

"Agreed" says Kym.  "And obviously no speed!  Yuck!  Ok.  What about oxy..?"

I know for a fact Kym is on oxy because Ari, our dealer told me Kym's order is ready.

"I don't know Kym..." and then I think how shitty coming off acid is without oxy.  "Maybe a little?"

"Agreed!" grins Kym sticking out her hand to shake.  "So no cocaine or heroin.  Emergency snorts of H are OK if both parties agree like last Tuesday.  And no needles.  Snort or smoke only.  Good?"

"Good" I shake her hand.

Jason walks in and sits in the floor.  He pulls out a cigarette from Kym's pack on the table, lights it and squints up at us through the smoke.  "I heard that and I want in.  BUT!  But I am not going a little in.  I am ALL in.  Cold fucking turkey. Right fucking now."

I can see glass biplanes doing loop-de-loops in his cigarette cloud.  His face slides around and his faded Suicidal Tendencies t-shirt boils off his torso.  I peer into Jason’s soul.  He will never fucking make it.

"You will never fucking make it" I declare.

"Babe!" says Kym as she punches me in the arm. "What a dick thing to say!"

"It's ok Kym.  Our hippie friend here is on LSD and thinks he is a wiser than everyone.  He always says stupid shit like 'WE ARE the Universal Light!' or 'Hey Jase! I figured out time man!'  Fuck him.  Stupid hippy!" says Jason pointing his cigarette at me.

And I smile at him because I know which one of us is sane.  But he is right about the bold declarations.

"Well we're not quitting" I calmly tell Jason as I get lost in his eyes for a second.  I swear his left pupil has a tiny doorknob in it...

"Yeah" says Kym.  "We're scaling back.  Huge difference Jase.  So are you cutting yourself out of the life...?"

We all know what she means.  Jason gets us drugs.  If he quits the life we lose a major and frankly, super convenient drug source.

Jason looks at us, enjoying the question hanging in the air.  He knows we are twitching and squirming and fretting over the thing we love so much...

"Well, I have a good thing going right now.  Solid connects, guaranteed income from the Warfield...Yeah.  Fuck getting a real job" he says as he exhales smoke.

My stomach flutters back down to my gut.  Tension evaporates and Kym melts against my side.  Whew.

"Let's celebrate our wisdom with some marijuana and chocolate" says Jason removing a blunt from behind his ear.  He lights it and tosses a golden box on the table.

LSD makes this golden box quite mesmerizing.  Like a reward for discovering the hidden room behind the plain stone wall in a Zelda game.  I open the ribbon which shimmers like the blue and gold fin of a sea dragon.  It glows.  It beckons.  I open it.  Rainbow eggs from psychedelic parrots and other mystical, magical creatures lay nestled inside the box.  Geometric shaped chocolates decorated with spirals of poetry written by Nereids in golden ink.


Kym and Jason look at me, look at each other and then smirk.  The halos coming off these amazing chocolates is intense.  Celestial turtle and dragon eggs.
"They are like jewels" I breathe in awe. "Like the eggs from the Sultan's golden partridge..."

"Dude it's Godiva chocolate from my dad.  James is in Belgium with his new family" says Jason grabbing a rainbow hued oval and chomping it.

"Yeah babe.  Godiva.  Haven't you tried?" asks Kym.

"Nope."  I try and think of fancy candy but only the stuff you can get at Longs Drugs pops in my head.  Russell Stover.  Cadbury.

I try one.  A triangular dark chocolate.  Fuck...They are right.  Amazing.  Sadly I did not know what chocolate was until this moment.  I want to go to Europe so bad.  Jason and Kym both have spent summers traveling in Europe.  They drop into French, German and Spanish to describe things they experienced.  This is why I go to college.  I want to be able to have these experiences.  I almost feel ashamed about the Sour Patch Kids I have in my pocket but man these taste really good when your body heat softens the package.  

As withdrawals rear their nastiness, I take more psychedelics.  I start eating more mushrooms and get into peyote and mescaline.  Kym starts running through the park.  Not jogging but running.  She sprints like a fucking deer over the hills and then slows down to an even pace for a bit and then sprints off again.  I thought of exercising with her but fuck that.  Jason starts lifting weights.  He is a pretty solid guy and was into lifting before I met him.  Now he works out like a madman.  Kym borrows his smaller free weights and aerobicises with them.

I smoke pot and watch Dragon Ball cartoons.  Fucking Goku is a trip on shrooms.  

When Kym and I enjoy our treats like snorting oxycodone Jason becomes such a pain in the ass we hide.  We last three long days without H but Kym gets yelled at by her boss for leaving on an espresso machine.  Damn thing overheats and burns out a circuit.  Canon Cafe is hyper busy during commute times in Union Square and without the machine, Kym and her coworkers suffer.  She gets a lot of shit.  So we tear off some foil, grab the glass straw and we each kiss the dragon. One tiny puff each...Fuuuck so good. We both want more and Kym is playing with the straw and staring at the bag. But no. Instead we smuggle a ton of candy into the movie theater and watch Air Force One.  

"You guys are fucking weak" says Jason who doesn't appear to be suffering as much as I thought.  His arms are healed and he has started eating more.  Unfortunately he is also becoming a jerk.  More so than usual.

"Lift weights.  You'll never make it watching cartoons, playing video games and doing stupid hippy shit."

"Oh puh-lease!" says Kym, "Like you aren't sneaking in a hit or two.  When you got us that gram I noticed a little bit seemed to have been scraped out.  Like a tiny streak on the side.  Enough for a tiny hit."

"No way Devil's Daughter.  You're just junkie paranoid and if you two go through grams this fast you are no longer tapering. Dealer knows all" chuckles Jason as he mixes kale into his protein shake and hits the blender.

"Go fuck yourself Jason!" snarls Kym as she stomps down the hall.

I look at Jason.  He catches my eye for a moment, looks away and smiles.  He was serene last night during X-Files...Kinda less obnoxious.  But I smile back and go do my homework.

Next day I look out and see a windy and cold morning staring back at me.  I'm supposed to meet Melo at Dolores Park.  He gets clean acid from the Deadheads camping in Golden Gate Park.  Kym went earlier to run and workout so I grab her jacket and walk to Dolores.  Bay winds cut so cold when you are in withdrawals.  Even numbed with oxy, I get the shakes.  I spot Kym running along the path in her black Nike jogging suit.  She shoots by me, waves and keeps going.  I sit on a bench, smoke cigarettes and wait for her to come back around.  She slows down as reaches me.  Her flushed face, the sound of her panting and the scent from her warm skin when I kiss her is exhilarating.

"Eww babe I'm all sweaty!" she complains pushing me away.

"No.  You smell good.  I smell like Doritos and cigarettes."

" do" she says pointedly as she begins to stretch her legs.

I hand her the leather jacket which she drapes over herself to keep off the wind.  We see Melo and Dev walking towards us.  They both have huge grins on their faces and keep stopping to look up at the trees.  Dev is pointing at something but Melo is just laughing so Dev stomps off.

"Heeeey guys" she smiles.  Red pixie face and HUGE pupils.

"Hola Devika.  You look merry today" smirks Kym.

Melo wanders up giggling.  I can't wait to try this acid.  They are Woodstocks. Like Snoopy's little yellow bird friend.  Even Ari, my chemist friend praises the purity.

"Fucking helicopter humming bird and shit!" laughs Melo.  We all watch him as he gasps to catch his breath.

"Oh ignore him" says Dev but she giggles too and appears to be scanning the skies for something.

We walk back and stop and get water and smokes at Baymart.  Dev and Melo are arguing about a mythical bird.  But neither will tell me what they are talking about.  They just giggle.

"So Lover, Kym says you guys barely use" smiles Dev as she hugs my arm.  "Good for you!"

"Yeah" smiles Melo, "like no coke or H.  That's good dude!  Real good for your health.  Clear your mind..."

"Well" I admit, "we do cheat a little.  But it's been like three days.  Almost four."

"Better than Jason" says Dev.

"WHAT?!" demands Kym.

"All three of us smoked last night in the tent" shrugs Melo.  "Says he's off the needle though.  Good for him.  Good for all of you guys.  Respect."

"That little shit!" yells Kym.

We get home and Jason is watching a football game.  Kym sits on the floor and stares at him.  Melo and Dev snicker and I go get their money.  I buy five hits for $20.  And Kym stares.  Jason ignores.  And Kym stares.

"What?!  What is it now?!" he explodes.

"Oh nothing" smiles Kym. "I'm just admiring your guns dude.  Been working out huh?  Straight edge!" mocks Kym flexing her arms.

"What the fuck is this?" asks Jason looking around.

I take some acid.

"Just admiring your self control Jason.  How awesome you are to quit cold turkey while we suffer and chip away like needy junkies.  But you oh you are such the specimen of perfection!"

Jason rubs his face.  "Ok.  So what?  I lapsed.  Big deal."

"It wouldn't be a big deal except you're such a PRICK about it!  How weak we are!  I just find the irony delicious!" scoffs Kym lighting a smoke.

"Yeah?  Well if the stress level in my apartment wasn't tweaked up by someone's suffocating personality I would have a lot easier time quitting!  And living for that matter!  Ne joue pas avec moi !" spits out Jason.

"Oh ? Et qui accuses-tu ?" says Kym standing up with her hands on her hips.  

Jason and Kym both took French in school and have traveled through France.  I have heard them talk in French before but never scream in it.

"Tu te crois maline, hein ?" yells Jason pointing at Kym.

Kym smiles and calmly says, "Hé bien moi au moins je n'agis pas comme une idiote en permanence !"

Jason gets up and yells, "Non, tu es cinglée ! Fille du démon !"  

"Moi?" mocks Kym standing up and spreading both her arms, "You're the crazy one!  Pretending your clean and better than us!  Faker!  Fraud!"

"Fuck!  You're such a fucking...fuck! Grahhh!" bellows Jason incoherently as he storms out the front door.

"Whoa" says Dev nodding her head.

I sit next to Dev on the floor chewing the acid blotter paper.  The paper taste triggers my mouth  to water as my body starts anticipating the trip.  I look at Dev.  Her eyes are so far away it's like looking into portals to the spirit world.

"Did you understand any of that?" I ask Dev.

"Yeah.  Totally.  Khadja is picking on Jason because he lied to her.  Rather than just letting it go she crushed his dignity.  It was kinda mean."

“You understand French?”

“No.  Is that what they were speaking?” asks Dev.

"Oh c'mon Devika!  Jason picks on me all the time!" huffs Kym lighting a smoke and sitting on the floor across from us.

Melo blinks and comes back to us from his trance. "Man.  That was crazy.  What just happened?  Hey you guys got any weed?" he asks looking around.

"Besides" smiles Kym, "he'll be back soon."

"Really?" asks Dev.  Her odd, mechanical doll's voice sounds so distant.  "How do you know that?"

"Because I went into his room and stole his smack" says Kym.  "I did it as a joke to prove a point but now I think I'll let him suffer a little."  

I look at her.  Knowing Jason, it will kill him to ask Kym for anything.  But if he doesn't say anything, she won't either.  Maybe I'll steal it back for him.  Kym meets my look defiantly.  She doesn't give a shit either way now that she has made her point.  She tilts her to the side and exhales a huge plume of smoke into the air.  I watch it swirl and tumble across the space like pure madness.     

Poor Jason.

1 comment:

  1. "She does not understand the power they command over a soul like mine." This line very much resonates with me