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Thursday, November 5, 2015

Alien DNA, drooling and belief

Ah flu season.

I went down to my clinic and got a shot because I believe in Western civilization.  Sure vaccines may be a ruse to collect our DNA for government records but as a person that works with government agencies, I would be really surprised if they had their act together enough for anything so sinister.  A lady at my work thinks the vaccine makes you ill because she heard from her friend that had a sister whose cousin got the flu shot...that she had to go to the hospital.  With the flu!  So no flu shot for my friend.  And this person does our taxes so you know some part of her brain is receptive to logic.  I guess it boils down to people are stupid and believe in whatever they want to believe.

When I was a kid, I believed in Bigfoot because Bigfoot is cool.  We went camping in Northern California where the Native Americans called him Sasquatch.  Little towns sold tiny statues, spooky story books and cool t-shirts.  This is why I hope there is a Loch Ness Monster.  Or vampires.  Wouldn't vampires be fun?  Like instead of fearing all the horrible diseases we can get from mosquitos, the government hands out Vampire Facts at school for your children to take home.

When I get a flu shot I don't think about anything good.  But my heart starts racing when I see a needle like fucking Pavlov's drooling dogs.  I think, Oooh a 25 gauge needle.  So sad.  What a fucked past to get excited for a flu shot even though I know the nurse is just gonna jam that rig into muscle.  But on the other hand, I can proudly (or sadly) state health professionals are the only people that stick needles into me.

Oh what a world.