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Thursday, November 12, 2015

Day 6

So I think I'm slightly healed besides the massive depression, boredom and outrage my body and brain feel from stopping pain meds.  I can't believe I wrote Half Truths while WDing.

For those of you on my path, stay strong.  For those of you living on the other side stay sane.  Please don't get swallowed.  But I'm not stupid enough to preach anything for I am 2 seconds away from a relapse every fucking minute.  My brain messes with me.  Hey man, you still have a medically verified reason to get pills.  Very true brain and well played.  But I told my doctor I need to stop.  You know the soul, addiction, life, etc etc.  All that shit needed to breathe upon the Earth and connect with love and the Universe.  I need it man.  But I'll tell you what brain, you know and I know where all the pills are hidden.  It is amazing we haven't cheated.  Let us grow strong, gain mental clarity and see the filthy world for what it is and then- we can talk about all those pills.  But not while you crave them every waking thought.

Actually, I am enjoying this clarity.  Day 5 was false morning clarity like when you wake up from a massive flu and think you feel better until you do some housework or yard chores and realize you are weak and sickly.  But Day 6 I felt ok all the way to lunchtime and I wake up at 5 am to start my day.

For those of you asking, there is no easy cure.  You will suffer.  For me Gatorade, water and bananas kept me alive.  All the weed, DXM, benzodiazepines, alcohol and whatever the doc gives you that doesn't have dope in it won't help.  It will weigh you down, make you dumb and able to watch TV but WD will come.  RLS will come.  But Loperamide helps A LOT.  Look it up.

My doc gave me clonidine and robaxin which I felt was useless.  But the BEST part was when I picked it up they gave me 150 oxycodone pills.  Maybe an old order lost in the system?  Who knows but for once the faceless gangstergod corporation gave me a gift.

If you are going to ask me about cold turkey stuff please email me rather than here or Reddit.  Also I am doing something for all the Melo and Dev fans.  Trying to work out another story.

Be safe,

1 comment:

  1. i too wish for the days when i can focus on something besides my desire to get high. good on you for quitting, dude! i'm proud for you. 6days is a long time, and it takes a lot of strength to overcome addiction. don't give up! you deserve mental clarity. <3